Wizard One Half
by Porpoisepower
Summary: Ranma heads to off to Hogwarts in search of a killer.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer and Notes from the Author.

The author apologizes for using characters, settings and events from the works of J. K. Rowling and Rumiko Takahashi, and will gracefully remove this work of fanfiction at their request. The piece of fiction below was written to share a story for the amusement of fans of your work. I hope to present the characters in canon as possible, but in scenarios far beyond the scope of the original stories.

Astute readers should be able to place the timing of the intersection of the stories with little trouble. But for the record, this piece of work takes place after the end of the Ranma manga, and before Harry arrives at Hogwarts at the beginning of book 5. Some liberties have been taken with the events that lead up to Harry's arrival at Hogwarts.

Let the story begin!

Wizard ½

Cold, the rain was definitely cold, cold and hard. Ranma-chan didn't care; she was already a girl.

Ranma-chan stared at the tombstone. Rain water leaked through the sieve of her eyebrows and dripped into her eyes. It made reading the epitaph nearly impossible. Ranma knelt and reached out a hand to feel the chiseled letters without reading them.

She knew what they said. She had carved it herself.

"Akane…Beloved Fiancé…Most Beautiful Warrior in Nerima…1985- 2002"

The headstone was simple and its style was common. It was in plot number 835 in the Nerima Cemetery for the Certified Dead. 25 Rows South, 28 East. Contrary to her math grades Ranma could have found the grave by counting. She never bothered.

Ranma-chan squeezed the rose she carried in her hand. The thorns pricked her palm and a small dribble of blood oozed out of her fist. Ranma-chan lowered her hand and deposited the rose on the grave.

"Is no good to stare airen," Xian Pu criticized.

"Leave me alone Xian Pu" Ranma-chan didn't turn to face Xian Pu.

"Airen warrior, not man."

"Leave me alone"

"A warrior decide by now, act. You come here and weep too long. You act like duck boy"

"I said leave me alone" Ranma-chan's voice becoming agitated.

"No. Time for Airen to move on. A true warrior look for revenge, not wilt like flower left on grave."

"You've been hanging around Kuno too much Xian Pu," Ranma-chan sighed. And the memory she was trying to forget started playing out in her mind again.

_Ranma was running, Akane was in danger. He could feel it in his bones. Literally. His left knee cap would ache every time she was kidnapped. Right now his ribs ached, which happened only when Akane was in life threatening peril. They ached like they were broken in 15 places, and about to puncture a lung. Running through the cement wall didn't help. Normally Ranma left creating holes in walls to Ryoga and Xian Pu, but he still did it enough that it didn't faze him._

_Bursting into her room, Ranma saw a figure look up at him. It was covered by a black robe only a silver mask stared out. Black hollow eyes and mad toothless grimace made the mask a twisted facsimile of a human face. A long slender hand holding a wand appeared from the fold of a sleeve. The sleeve fell back, exposing an arm. The arm bore an image of a skull and serpent that rippled with life. Ranma couldn't drag his eyes from the mark, it filled his soul with a cold crippling fear. The fear was deeper than the nekoken, and froze his ability to think. He stood captivated as the wand flicked and swirled. Suddenly the figure was gone. All that remained was Akane. _

_Akane…_

_Akane was on her back, her limbs loose and twisted in abnormal positions. The look on her face… contorted in pain, frightened. Ranma fell on to her. She was still warm but not breathing._

"_Akane, please don't die… I never got to tell you that I love you" _

_Akane's body still refused to move. Refused to breathe, refused to live._

"_No, no, this can't be happening… LIVE" Screamed Ranma. Putting a hand on her sternum, started chest compressions and brought his mouth down to begin CPR. Pumping with one hand and breathing air into her lungs without having to change positions. Not quite the proper way, but proper way be damned… this was faster and still worked. _

_Ranma pumped and breathed, pumped and breathed. Still no response... blow harder pump more. Still Akane's body just lay there, silent, and still. Akane was dead._

_The following days were a torrent._

_Cops took statements, but no evidence would be found. _

_The autopsy was inconclusive. Elevated endorphin levels and signs of stress in her musculature system suggested sever pain. The coroner concluded that Akane's death was bizarre but natural. _

_With No evidence of foul play the cops ignored Ranma's account of a figure in black. The mark he reported didn't match anything on file, and his account of the events was not taken seriously. _

_The Tendos just collapsed. _

_Soun wept non stop. Genma spent a great deal of time consoling Akane's father. Soun's melancholy even interfered with his favorite hobby of playing shogi with Genma. He didn't even cheat anymore._

_Kasumi, who kept the family going after the death of her mother, struggled to keep the Tendo home and family together. Her mother she knew how to be like, but Akane was so different. Kasumi could cook, clean, and maintain the home. She didn't know how to fight. Tofu somehow managed to cure himself of hysteria and support Kasumi. Kasumi moved in with Dr. Tofu shortly after. _

_Nabiki sank even further into her "Ice Queen" demeanor. In the past she was aloof, and mostly observed the adventures of Akane and Ranma. Occasionally she would enter the fray and experiencing if not instigating chaos. Now she was silent, and didn't take much interest in anything anymore. Nabiki's normally sharp tongue seemed to have gotten soft and she rarely teased Ranma. Not that Ranma saw her much. Mostly she would come home, go into her room and study. Ranma rarely saw Nabiki outside of dinner and breakfast. _

_The Tendo Dojo, home for generations of Tendos, it saw the passing of many ancestors and most recently a mother and sister. It had once been full of shouting, fighting, laughter, and life was dead silent. It stood silent and hollow, cursed. The first true home Ranma knew for most of his life was gone. Ranma moved out. _

_At first Ukyo took Ranma in. They shared their grief, but while Ukyo healed Ranma fell into deeper melancholy. Eventually Ukyo had to start running her business again. And was not able to provide the support Ranma needed. Her cheeriness was unable to pull Ranma from his depression, and it grated on Ranma, so he left._

_He spent the next few days as a girl. Sleeping on the streets and rarely eating._

_Eventually Xian Pu found her in a gutter, and took her to the Nekohanten. Mu Tzu welcomed Ranma at first. Ranma was in no shape to be a threat to Mu Tzu's pursuit of Xian Pu. Unfortunately one night he found girl type Ranma in bed with Xian Pu, naked._

_Nothing had happened… Ranma-chan was asleep when Xian Pu had climbed in. It didn't matter. Mu Tzu silently stole Ranma-chan. He threw the tiny red head over his shoulder, and carried her into a near by alley. Ranma finally awoke after being dumped on the ground, Mu Tzu beat her thoroughly. Ranma-chan didn't defend herself._

_Xian Pu woke with her arms empty. She wasn't worried at first, figuring her airen had gotten up for a late snack or trip to the bathroom. But when she didn't return Xian Pu got up, pulled on a nightgown and went looking. When it became obvious Ranma was not in the Nekohanten, Xian Pu became worried._

_Scared Xian Pu ran into the street. She strained her eyes and ears for some sort of clue. She heard quite soft sounds coming from the alley behind the Cat Café, and she rushed around the block to its entrance._

_The alley was dimly lit and smelled slightly of refuse. But, Xian Pu's attention was glued to the scene before her._

_Mu Tzu stood over the battered body of Ranma's girl form. Bruised and bleeding, Ranma-chan still breathed. Ranma-chan looked up and smiled at Xian Pu reassuringly then collapsed into unconsciousness._

_Mu Tzu and Xian Pu had grown up together in the village. In the past Xian Pu secretly enjoyed his undying devotion, even if he was annoying. That changed when Ranma entered her life. Mu Tzu's attempts to win her love and attention slowly escalated to being seriously irritating. Xian Pu was barely tolerating Mu Tzu before. But she would no longer._

"_Xian Pu! I've did it I defeated Ranma" Mu Tzu beamed._

"_Stupid Mu Tzu, you didn't defeat Ranma. All you did was beat her up! She didn't even defend herself." She softly said in Mandarin. Storming up she grabbed Mu Tzu by the robe, and threw him down. He crashed into a trashcan, spilling its contents onto the street._

"_Leave us now! Too long have I've put up with your obsession over me. Now you've beaten a woman. You, an Amazon, beat a woman. Mu Tzu you are no longer a Joketsozuko. And if I ever see you again, I will enforce the laws of out ancestors. Give you kiss that make you no longer a man." _

_Ranma-chan woke drowsily and watched Mu Tzu wince at Xian Pu's threats Her vision was blearily, his eyes blackened and his consciousness threatened to leave again. Mu Tzu tried to placate Xian Pu's wraith, as Xian Pu knelt by Ranma._

"_Ranma's no woman! He is a man; he has no rights under Amazon law. He's not even a man anymore. He's broken. I broke him." Mu Tzu replied angrily._

"_Mu Tzu! You're an idiot, and only you would be so blind. Ranma was already broken." Xian Pu paused, "I will fix him. Heal him. Give him what you want. Go. You have no place here." Xian Pu calmed. "If you stay, losing your manhood will be the least of you pains." Finally Mu Tzu turned and headed out of the alley. Pausing he offered his last argument._

"_Xian Pu... He'll never love you. Not like he loved Akane" _

"_Mu Tzu… GO NOW!" _

_Mu Tzu left, head down. Xian Pu held Ranma-chan tightly, Ranma felt her tears_

"_He wasn't that bad of a guy Xian Pu."_

"_Don't apologize for him. Duck Boy lost me long ago. " _

"_You loved him didn't you" Xian Pu didn't answer._

_Standing, Xian Pu lifted Ranma's broken girl body and took her to her room. Xian Pu gently put Ranma-chan on her bed and took a jar out of her dresser. Opening it, the pungent scent of exotic Chinese herbs filled the air and intoxicated Ranma-chan's already foggy brain. Gently Shampoo tended Ranma-chan's cuts and bruises. A couple bandages here, some Joketsozuko tiger balm there, and slowly the pain in Ranma-chan's body lessened. _

_It was getting hot in the room. The oils that Xian Pu had applied to Ranma-chan generated a lot of heat to sooth aching muscles, and the room was not big. Sweating Xian Pu remembered there was a reason she rarely wore night clothes and slithered out of her gown. Standing in simple if skimpy, panties, she continued to rub Ranma-chan back. Ranma-chan gasped slightly into relaxation and Xian Pu turned her over._

_Ranma-chan looked up at the nearly naked Xian Pu, her purple hair tied back tight in a pony tail. Her bosom wet with sweat stood in defiance of those who dared to suggest she was to big to be perky. Xian Pu stared down at Ranma-chan._

"_Airen like what she see?" Xian Pu asked. There was a melody in her voice that once made Ranma-chan nervous. It chimed in the air like tiny, gently chiming bells. Ranma-chan's mind was flying between the physical pain of Mu Tzu's beating, her grief over Akane's death, and the exotic herbs and spices that made her mind tingle. She looked up at Xian Pu's perfectly curved body and felt a pleasant ache deep within her started to grow. A desire she had not felt in weeks began to stoke. The fire was small, and growing. But the wind of a memory was too much for it to take and the fire blew out. Still the fire managed to warm Ranma-chan's humor. _

"_Xian Pu like what she see?" asked Ranma-chan reaching up cupping her own breasts, with a nervous smile._

"_Aiya! Airen is to to sexy!" Xian Pu burst out laughing. Ranma-chan slowly joined in. Finally, something felt normal. As Ranma-chan's grief finally began to break. It felt good. They didn't make love that night. It was far too soon, and Ranma-chan's curse presented certain topics that needed a deep discussion._

Shaking his attention back to the present, Ranma finally responded.

"Still, your right, let's head back to the Cat Café."

"Good bye Akane. I miss you. I'll be back later" Ranma-chan dipped his head and kissed the gravestone.

\~--o--~/

Several days later in the Nekohanten, Khu Lon hopped over to Ranma's room, and knocked on the door with her staff,

"Son-in-law?" called Khu Lon.

"Yo! Granny, come in." Ranma-chan's voice called out.

Khu Lon entered the room. The room was bare with only a bed roll on the floor, a photo of Akane, a traveling bag and a topless Ranma-chan standing doing inverted pushups.

"If any thing 5000 years of Amazon teaching has taught me, it is that … will cause sagging." Khu Lon interjected.

"What?"

"Kids these days..." Khu Lon sighed.

"What? Nevermind, didn't you want something?"

"I have a lead"

Ranma-chan rolled forward and twisted. The maneuver ended with her in a sitting position, her face inches from Khu Lon's.

"What?!"

"You keep saying that son-in-law."

"You know who killed Akane?"

"No but I know what did, and who can help. Come down to the kitchen, and please put a shirt on. I didn't adopt you into the tribe just to make an 'Amazons Gone Wild' video. Oh and brush your teeth"

Downstairs stock was simmering, and Shampoo was cutting vegetables. Ranma-chan sat at a table; Khu Lon opened a drawer and pulled out a cloth, and a pouch. Sitting, she handed the cloth to Ranma-Chan and pointed to a box of mushrooms.

"Make your self use full sonny boy." Khu Lon requested as she filled her pipe with the dubious contents of the pouch.

Ranma-chan started cleaning mushrooms while listening to the old women.

"When I saw Akane's body; I knew immediately that her death was not some injury or drug. She was killed by magic." Khu Lon started. Ranma-chan nodded, magic while not normal was indeed a part of his life ever since the day he got cursed.

"I immediately sent a letter to an old friend of mine, probably the first man who I ever respected. His name is Albus Dumbledore; he runs a school in Great Britain."

Khu Lon took a long puff on her pipe and continued.

"He told me that the killer was a 'Death Eater', a member of a cult that who seeks to enslave and degrade everyone who is not a wizard."

"That doesn't make any sense Granny" said Ranma-chan. "What's wrong with not being a wizard, and why Akane? She never… she never did anyone wrong… she was the kindest…" Ranma-chan's eyed watered at the senselessness.

"Son-in-law, I don't know. But apparently there have been attacks all over the world lately, and that mark you saw on the assailants arm confirms that the person was a death eater." Khu Lon continued.

"The world of wizards and witches is highly secretive. They live parallel to the modern world but with little interaction. This is one of the reasons the Death Eaters were able to thrive. Muggles, non magical people, are to the wizarding community a mostly alien people. Between the Muggles' persecution of those of witches and wizards who lived openly in Muggle society and considerable barrier between our worlds, it is easy for Muggles to be targets of suspicion, and hatred. Plus it is easy to regard non wizarding people as lesser beings. Mix blooded wizards are also often targets of violence as much as Muggles." Khu Lon finished

Ranma-chan's expression steeled. He put down the mushroom he was cleaning and stood up.

"Ranma, sit down." Khu Lon commanded. Ranma-chan didn't, and moved to the door. Xian Pu, who had stopped cutting vegetables, took Ranma-chan's hand and tried to guide her back to the table. She was ignored.

"Ranma, sit down," Khu Lon repeated. This time she raised her staff and pointed it at the red head, Ranma-chan glared at her.

"Think you can stop me old ghoul?"

"Sonny Boy, I've got tricks you can't begin to imagine. Now sit down." Ranma-chan tried to move further to the door, but couldn't. She found the only way her body could move was in the general direction of the chair. So she sat back down, crossing her arms in defiance.

"They're long gone. You'd never find them in Japan. The Death Eaters are based in Great Britain so that's where we go." stated the venerable woman. Ranma relaxed visibly but his patience was obviously thin.

"Great let's pack."

"All ready ahead of you sonny-boy." With that she reached into her robe and pulled out a slender wand and handed it to Ranma-chan.

"You're a bit old to beginning magical training, but you've got the gift. I knew it since you showed up in Joketsozuko. The wand is Camphor with a triple core, kirin, orochi, and even one of Saff Ron's pinion feathers" She said with a grin, and added "Be damn careful where you point that thing."

"But I'm no wizard!" Proclaimed Ranma-chan,

"Sorry Sonny, but you are. It looks like something bound your powers. But I think between your martial arts and your curse, the binding's starting to break down."

Xian Pu turned to Khu Lon and Ranma-chan and stammered, "Airen leave? I… We.. just… no you stay here with Xian Pu. Xian Pu keep you safe, in bed, with Xian Pu." Khu Lon quickly interjected.

"Relax child, you'll come along too… you inherited more than my good looks" Khu Lon chuckled as she pulled out an extremely twisted and crooked wand out and handed to Xian Pu.

"The wood was from a Bonsai Tree from the Han Dynasty. The core is hair taken from a sphinx mane. Luckily, you've had some potions and other training, so you won't be quite as far behind."

"We better tell your parents we'll be gone for a while sonny-boy. Let's go to the Tendos."

The walk was tense, with Ranma-chan impatiently alternately alternating between street and fence walking. Khu Lon ignored Ranma's prancing and calmly pogoed to the Tendo residence at a leisurely pace.

Arriving they found both the Soun, Nabiki and Ranma's parents relaxing in the dining room after dinner.

"Pops I'm goin' on a trip to avenge Akane" Ranma-chan proclaimed.

"About time boy. Where are you headed first?" Genma proclaimed.

"England, some school named Hogwarts" Ranma-chan answered. Nodoka gasped. Genma lowered his head and shook it.

"How did you learn about that place, boy?" He questioned his son.

"Khu Lon told me. Said I was a wizard, and that some one bound my powers."

"Son, you mean… you're not a squib" Nodoka choked out.

"What's a squib?" Ranma-chan asked, but was ignored as Khu Lon Piped in,

"So you're not the one who bound his powers?"

"No… I just assumed he never developed them."

"Who ever did must have had extensive time alone with him…" Cologne pondered. All eyes turned to Genma, who had already doused himself with water.

"I'm just a panda…" read a sign that Genma pulled from somewhere.

Khu Lon went to the kitchen to get some hot water so they could continue the discussion.

"I always figured those signs had to be magic." Ranma-chan grumbled, as Khu Lon returned.

*Splash* Genma found himself doused with hot water and back to human. Nodoka turned to her husband.

"Dear will you please explain yourself now?"

"Ranma needed to concentrate on the art. Besides do you think I'd give my son to some pointy hated old git? He's my son to teach, and I would have taught him. If I wasn't forbidden from practicing magic anymore" Genma scoffed.

"And whose fault was that? And why not let me teach him. He's my son too." Nodoka argued..

"Hey you were caught too…" Genma pointed out. Nodoka seeing the confused look on everyone's face quickly explained.

"Genma and I were found in the room of necessity, naked with a bunch of polyjuice potions… On second thought, you don't want to hear about that. Genma was expelled and I got a stiff warning."

"Only cause you were a teachers pet…" Genma Huffed.

"Just because I didn't fill the faculty lavatory with blast ended skewts doesn't…" Ranma-chan stopped listening at this point. She had come to say her good byes, and was being ignored. She silently waved goodbye and headed out the door. Khu Lon and Xian Pu followed him out. Ranma-chan had hoped to work out something with Mr. Tendo regarding the pact between families, but that would have to wait.

Her thoughts came crushing down as she thought about the wedding they almost had.

She still loved Akane; she wasn't in love with Xian Pu. She couldn't yet. But for now, she was what she needed. She kept Ranma sane, in the moment, and was there when she was lonely. The fact that she was totally freaking hot didn't hurt.

Ranma-chan stole a look at the Chinese Amazon. Xian Pu caught the red head's appreciative glance in the corner of her eye and rewarded her with smirk and a wink while never stopping to face forward. Ranma-chan gulped and looked straight ahead whistling innocently.

It was rare that Xian Pu caught her airen admiring her body. In Xian Pu's opinion this behavior needed rewarding. Slowing slightly, Xian Pu drifted closer to Ranma-Chan. Whom was trying to hide her indiscretion with innocent whistling. Coming along side her airen smoothly reached out stole a gentle caress of Ranma-chan's ass. Successful in her flirtations, Xian Pu hurried up to keep pace with her honored ancestor.

Ranma-chan froze in shock. While Khu Lon and Xian Pu continued forward, Xian Pu looked back just long enough to make an obscene gesture with her tongue and lips. Xian Pu was not done yet, not slowing her pace she put a little extra sway in her hips. Secret Joketsozuko technique "Hips Like Swaying Cobra". Ranma-chan stared captivated by the memorizing motion of the firm posterior that Xian Pu presented to him.

Remembering time and space she pulled her tongue in from her where it hung, and began running to keep up.

"Excellently done, Xian Pu." Khu Lon commented, never once looking at the transpiring events. Xian Pu grinned; Airen was hers now, even if she didn't even know it yet.

It was late when they arrived home, but Xian Pu and Ranma-chan were still awake. Some things needed to be said they knew it. Ranma-chan was a bit wiser than in the past, and knew how badly not being honest could be. It could be bad, really bad. It was already bad enough.

"Xian Pu, look, I uhm… I like you a lot, and maybe more eventually… right now, though I'm still in love with her, I don't want to lead you on or anything." Ranma-chan finally said after a long silent moment.

"Airen, Xian Pu know what Airen want, and what Airen feel. It fine." Xian Pu answered, and continued "Xian Pu okay with girl type Ranma, but Xian Pu will have boy type. Ranma understand?" Ranma-chan nodded.

"Good. Xian Pu very happy." Xian Pu's arms wrapped around Ranma-chan's body and pull her into a kiss. It was brief and interrupted when Xian Pu felt a salty wetness from Ranma-chan's cheek smear itself onto herself. She pulled away.

"Airen stop thinking about Akane, Akane gone. Not forgotten, but Ranma with Xian Pu. Ranma think of Xian Pu only when with Xian Pu. Understand?"

"Xian Pu here for Ranma, so Ranma not alone. Ranma want be alone? Xian Pu here, offer herself, offer heart, Make Ranma feel better." She paused for a second, and sat on Ranma-chan's Lap and ground her self into her beloved's waist. Smirking she finished, "Make Ranma feel too too better, Ranma relax and enjoy." Smiling, she began another kiss.

\~--o--~/

Khu Lon looked up at the ceiling as Ranma-Chan's cries wafted down to the kitchen. A couple young men in the restaurant, for a late night snack followed her lead and looked up to the ceiling when a suddenly Xian Pu's cry revealed what exactly was happening and the gender's involved. They immediately suffered massive nose bleeds.

"Well done grand-daughter," Khu Lon mentally praised. Looking alternately at the pool of blood forming on the floor and the shaking ceiling she added, "Maybe too well done."

Late that night with Ranma-chan asleep, Xian Pu stared absently with thought. Ranma didn't lover her. Not yet. But she would eventually. And that was all that mattered. Finally feeling the matter secure for now, she relaxed and let a deep sleep take her.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey all,

So here is Chapter 2, I'm posting a minor rewrite of Chapter One aswell. My major roadblock is lack of beta/proof reading. I'm doing the best I can but I really need some extra eyes at this point. More on that after the chapter.

FYI, anyone who think that any characters in this story belong to me, seriously needs to go Read/Watch Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi, and the Harry Potter series by J. K. Rawling. There are two characters who I will introduce in this chapter. Their mine. Barely.

Chapter 2

In the morning Ranma-chan, woke up and found her self tied into a knot with a Chinese Amazon. This was not good, really not good. She struggled for a moment to untangle herself from the often dangerous Amazon, but her struggles were starting to stir Xian Pu. And Ranma wanted nothing to do with being tangled up with an awake and potentially angry Xian Pu.

"Wait a minute… that's not my hand on my… then where's my hand? Oh my" Ranma-chan thought. The Japanese girl pondered for a moment how she got into this particular predicament.

"Oh! Yeah, um" Ranma-chan commented aloud.

"Good Morning Airen…" cooed a very happy Xian Pu, who paused for a moment, to notice the red head's rather provocative choice of hand holds, before adding, "What? You want more?" Ranma-chan's cheeks blushed as red as her hair.

"Xian Pu create monster. Xian Pu like monster!"

"Eeek!" Ranma-chan piped. Thinking fast she came up with one of her most useful martial arts techniques ever.

"Soul of Ice Revised! Ice cold feet in a warm bed, the _Morning After Attack_" she quickly called out. Xian Pu saw where this was going and quickly, untangled, and flew out of bed before the attack could be initiated.

"Airen too too mean!" Xian Pu replied. "We have big trip today. Need to get cleaned up. Airen want secret Amazon back wash?" Xian Pu's eyes stared hard into Ranma-chan's who swallowed hard in reply.

After an, interesting, if not thorough washing, Ranma leaned back in the furo. It had been a long time since he felt this good. He fnally had a lead in Akane's death and life meant something again.

A rather tranquil Xian Pu leaned into him. The difference was staggering to Ranma. As a girl he was shorter than Xian Pu, who was now significantly smaller. Even Xian Pu's skin felt different.

Xian Pu looked at her husband by right of law, and the equipment that was now hers. A naughty thought formed quickly.

Ranma eyes opened as a small hand grasped him.

"Xian Pu, thank you but I'm still not ready for that." He calmly told her and disengaged himself from her grasp. Xian Pu pouted for a moment and went back to snuggling with her lover.

"Airen still sad?" she asked.

"Yeah, and a little guilty. I always pictured giving myself to her. You know?"

"Akane understand, she know that Ranma heart with her,"

"I'm sorry Xian Pu; I never meant to take advantage of you."

"Who said I didn't take advantage of you?" Xian Pu replied. "We both won, it not wise to look to close. If situation change, we talk then." Xian Pu smiled honestly, and with hope.

"You're a lot smarter than sound" chuckled Ranma.

"Xian Pu very smart. Japanese just make Xian Pu sound stupid. Much like Airen " Ranma turned to Xian Pu and stared questionably at Xian Pu who looked away, innocently at walls.

"Yeah sure…" Ranma was starting to feel very gullible.

A loud grumble echoed from Ranma's belly.

"Airen hungry! Must eat if he to keep up with Xian Pu in bed tonight"

Ranma quickly departed the furo at that point, a leering Xian Pu following him with her eyes, as he disappeared into the hall.

"Son-in-law, why do you insist in running around naked?" Khu Lon cackled out, the sound of a slap echoed into the bathroom.

"Grand Mother! Airen's butt mine alone! Go get your own Fu Rou*" Xian Pu called out identifying the sound easily.

"You wouldn't deny an old woman her pleasures would you child?"

Xian Pu ignored her ancestor, and left the waters of the furo. After drying languidly, she dressed and descended the stairs for breakfast.

After breakfast the teens went upstairs to pack.

"Children" Khu Lon called out a while later. "It's time to go."

Ranma was down stairs first. All he had with him was in his nap sack. The traveling bag contained a couple changes of clean socks and boxers, and his new wand poking out. Khu Lon blinked at the carelessness and bonked Ranma with her staff. "I told you sonny to be careful with that thing!"

"Ow jeeze, okay! Okay!" Ranma carefully took his wand out of his nap sack and carefully inserted it into his trousers, so it would be held in place by his belt. Khu Lon stared dumb struck at the arrangement with the wand.

"Son-in-law, your curse might become permanent if that thing fries your willy off." Ranma stared down at the wand, looked where it was pointed, and ever so slowly pulled it out. Not sure what do, he kept it in his hand, pointed down, well away from himself, as he pondered what to do with it.

Inspiration!

Khu Lon watched in amazement as Ranma replicated Mu Tzu's famous hidden weapon abilities.

"Son-In-Law, how did you learn that? Those techniques are one of the most secret techniques of the Joketzusoku. Only the men are taught it, and even then only our most skilled. Not even I know that technique… and Mu Tzu would never teach you…"

"Granny, There's a reason Mu Tzu would never tell you, and I'll never tell either."

"I see… Where is that girl?" As if not on queue it took several more minutes for Xian Pu to appear, with several bags in tow.

"Child what did you pack? I told you we would be picking up uniforms when we arrive."

"Xian Pu pack only essentials. Favorite bon-bori, 3 scimitars, some nun chuk, Spear of Longinus, nodachi…" When Xian Pu finally finished listing off Ranma couldn't resist his curiosity any more.

"Which bag contains the Howitzer?"

"Never mind the howitzer! You may bring your bon bori, but you didn't mention any under things."

"Why Xian Pu bring what she not wear?" Xian Pu was answered by Ranma collapsing to the floor.

As Ranma slowly regained consciousness, Khu Lon spent a great amount of time, explaining to Xian Pu what was wrong with her clothing standards. Finally Xian Pu hauled all her bags back up to her room. When she came back down she carried her bon bori in her hands and a small wristlet that contained "a few necessary articles" Khu Lon rolled her eyes, but said nothing.

"Ranma please put Xian Pu's weapons, where ever it is, you put your wand." Xian Pu reluctantly handed the massive twin maces to Ranma. Ranma winced but complied.

"No wonder Mu Tzu went blind…"

"What was the Sonny?"

"Nothing, old ghoul, absolutely nothing."

Finally ready to leave. The old woman led them into a stock room in back, and from there into her private study. All sorts of strange objects lined the walls. Jars with unidentifiable contents, a few cauldrons, apparatuses of unknown purpose, a couple old brooms, bones, a fishbowl with a silvery gas languidly flowing in it, and a small hand mirror were very prominent. Ranma looked at the mirror carefully, and asked

"Yo, is this the nambam mirror?'

"Not quite sonny… but close. It's a port key it'll take us where we're going. Everyone grab a hold of me…" Ranma followed Xian Pu's action and put a hand on Cologne's head.

"Never thought you'd be getting head from me did you Son-in-law?"

All the blood drained from Ranma's face.

"Never say that again."

"What's wrong sonny? Can't an old woman join the games of her most beloved children?" Xian Pu and Ranma both shook their heads violently.

"What? If I was 400 years younger… you wouldn't be so hasty."

"Great Grand Mother?"

"Yes child?"

"Can we please get going now?" Khu Lon grinned and reached for the mirror, as soon as she touched it. The three of them were sucked into a whirling vortex hurtling them through space, after a few brief seconds, they landed in the middle of a busy market. Khu Lon turned to the two teenagers and announced

"Welcome to Diagon Alley"

The next several hours were spent shopping for books, robes, potion ingredients, and other things that Ranma blanked out on, as he spent most his time pretending to lean against a wall.

In truth, Ranma was exercising his balance. While his posture was way off, and center of mass significantly out of alignment with his feet, he was remaining upright. He only looked like he was using walls, counters and door ways to support himself. A careful observer would notice that there always existed a small gap between Ranma's back and what ever he appeared to lean on. This just like everything in Ranma's life was training.

Eventually Khu Lon herded them outside of a shop which contained a wide variety of animals.

"Stay here. I'll be back in a moment." Khu Lon pogoed into the shop on her staff. It was at this moment a literal horseless carriage tore around a corner and sped past Xian Pu and Ranma. The carriage came nowhere close to hitting them, but it did hit a puddle which splashed Ranma with cold water. Where there was once a confident, if slightly depressed young man there was now a extremely upset red headed girl.

Being an aqua-transsexual also meant being a water magnet. Luckily Xian Pu had hid behind Ranma and remained dry.

"Great, just great…" Ranma-chan stopped mid sentence. "Xiaann Puh Puh Pu… I'm never doing the hidden weapons trick again."

"Airen okay?" Ranma stood a moment, eyes wide and staring into space. Finally he regained control of himself.

"Yeah, fine, there's something in an uncomfortable place, but I'll be okay."

"Good." Xian Pu giggled and pushed Ranma's soaked bangs out of her face.

Across the street, an arrogant blond teen looked slightly slack jawed at the red headed Japanese beauty in front of him.

"Crabbe, Goyle, you see that girl over their?"

"Uhm…"

"If you're not going to say actual words keep your mouth shut. I'm talking about the red headed slut next to the chunky purple haired girl. She's obviously new, just transferred from some savage land. I'll bet she's looking for someone… friendly… someone rich… handsome… and definitely from a good family." Blowing into his hand he gave his breath a quick check. Not bad. Not good either, but good enough for her. He crossed the street with lackeys in tow, and approached

"Spot of bad luck that may I offer you a place to dry off?" Draco asked.

Ranma turned, and frowned at the young blond boy. Draco offered a very honest attempt at a smile.

"You are soooo not my type" Ranma answered in English, and turned back to Xian Pu. Ranma turned back to Xian Pu.

"What weasel boy want?" Xian Pu asked.

"What all boys want with my girl side" replied Ranma. Draco shaken back a few feet with the bluntness of the reply turned to Crabbe and Goyle.

"What do you think their saying?" Goyle shrugged.

"Probably talking about how "hard to get" they should play. The Purple haired girl isn't as chunky as I thought. She's all curves." Draco drooled slightly. "… I'll have them both in bed with me by Christmas break" he whispered proudly to his compatriots who chuckled like hyenas.

Ranma froze and turned back to Malfoy.

"I heard that, and I don't know who you are but you don't talk like that about me or especially about Xian Pu." She took a few steps closer bringing her into close proximity with Draco. Poking hard enough to welt, she ground her finger into the cavity that what was Malfoy's chest.

"I make it a point never to fight with those who can't defend themselves, but for you I'll make an exception. You talk like that about us again, and I'll make you wish you could shove your head up your own ass." Ranma-chan tapped a small pressure point on the blond boy's shoulder, and walked back to Xian Pu.

"You red headed little bitch, I bet your some half bred Weasley…" suddenly he stopped. A terrible rumbling noise shook his stomach. Suddenly Draco was off running down the street, Crab and Goyle in hot pursuit.

"Outta the way! Stand Back!" Draco screamed urgently as he ran through the crowd nearly knocking over a shaggy haired youth with round rimmed glasses. Who stared at the quickly fleeing boy.

Xian Pu turned to Ranma-chan.

"Airen? What pressure point did Weasel boy get."

"Trumpeting Elephant Eating Mud," Xian Pu shrugged questionably, and Ranma-chan detailed the conversation.

"Airen return Bon Bori now."

"Nope, notta, no, not till I switch back."

"Airen! Give bon bori back now!" Ranma-chan shook his head and pointed at Draco's backside. Xian Pu and a certain bespeckled teen watched in horror, fascination, and humor as a sudden stain became very evident.

"Sweet Slthyrin's Mother, help me!" Screamed Draco, as a foul stench caused Crabbe and Goyle to give up pursuit of their rapidly fleeing leader. A look to each other said it all "He's up that creek without a paddle, best he handle it alone" and "I'm so not helping him clean that up."

"What's all the commotion?" Khu Lon asked returning from the shop.

"Somebody said something inappropriate about Xian Pu and I. I gave him a taste of a pressure point Dr. Tofu taught me."

"Which one Son-in-Law?"

"Trumpeting Elephant Eating Mud"

"Remind me never to cross that man,"

"I'd be more concerned about Kasumi, there's a reason he always falls apart around her." Ranma replied. For the first time in centuries Khu Lon fell off her staff.

"Nabiki owes me 5000 yen." Ranma-chan smiled.

"Airen kidding right?" Ranma smiled and followed a beckoning Khu Lon, who had quickly righted herself, and lead them into the shop.

The inside of the shop was filled with animals. They were haphazardly spread around the shop with little organization. Owls, rats and toads were very common, but there were a few dogs, turtles and other animals. Ranma-chan thought she was seeing things when she saw what looked like two llamas cut in half and sewn together at the middle section. It had two heads, 4 legs, and no rear.

"All right children, as wizards you'll need a familiar. Your familiar is an animal companion, of sorts. Just look around, the right companion will find you. "

"Kuh Lon their aren't any... c-c-cats here, right?" Ranma slowly spat out.

"It's alright Ranma, When I was in earlier, I explained your rather special condition to the shop owner, who took all the felines into the back room." Khu Lon explained.

Ranma sweated for a moment when Khu Lon mentioned the presence of cats. But kept relatively calm and stayed towards the front of the store.

Ranma-chan wandered amongst one of the more varied selection. She saw snakes, parrots, bats and something that looked like a bunny, but left Ranma-chan very nervous. None of the animals jumped out at her most ignored his presence. Not finding anything interesting or interested in her she was about to ask for a assistance, when she heard a familiar sound. A sound, he never thought to hear again.

"Bwee"

Ranma-chan turned and looked down under the table at the source of the noise. A small, black piglet stared up at her.

"Ryoga?" the Piglet looked blankly at her for a moment then trotted over and brushed affectionately up against her leg.

"No definitely not." Ranma-chan. picked up the piglet. It started nuzzling her and bweeing softly. Ryoga was stupid, a jerk, a pervert, her oldest friend, and gone. Ryoga was the closest to peer in the arts that she knew. He was the only one that Ranma trusted with Akane's well being, when he wasn't lost. Ryoga was a rival, in martial arts, and for Akane's heart. Luckily Akari's arrival lessoned the tension between them.

The day of the funeral, was the first time Ryoga arrived somewhere without getting lost. He cried a lot and never really acknowledged anything. After the body was finally buried, Ryoga wandered off into the woods. There was a tremendous noise and flash of green light.

_Genma turned in the direction of the flash._

"_What was that?" he asked aloud._

"_Shin Shishi Hokodan…" Ranma muttered._

"_That damn fool, I told him that attack was dangerous… I told look for another emotion." Khu Lon went on but Ranma wasn't listening. He ran to the source of the blast. _

_It was easy to find. A huge crater nearly fifteen meters across. Around it trees were thrown back, away from the center of the blast. Up rooted and charred. The crater itself was black and full of rubble. Only a single set of foot prints lead into the crater, and none left. In the center only Ryoga's umbrella was recognizable. It was bent and burnt but in one piece._

_A patch of fabric fluttered in the breeze caught on a tree branch. A single tiger striped handkerchief. Ranma picked it up._

_Damn him. Just when Ranma needed him the most, he lost himself forever._

_Ranma took the handkerchief and put it in his pocket._

_Goodbye Ryoga._

Digging momentarily in the bag Ranma-chan found the tiger striped cloth. She tied it around the piglet's neck. The Piglet took a few moments, trying to ascertain if her new accessory was either removable or edible. Unable to remove or eat it she ignored it. The little black pig in her new handkerchief was not a perfect match of Ryoga, gender, and personalities were obviously different. Her eyes were alsof little less beedy.

"Aiyah, piglet too too cute!" Xian Pu announced seeing Ranma-chan with the little pig. "Piglet look like Lost Boy"

"Yeah Xian Pu, That's what I thought too. She sure is taking a liking to me. I think I'll name her P-Onna." Ranma-chan replied cuddling the affectionate pig.

Xian Pu watched the feminine display shortly. "Airen spend too much time as girl."

Ranma stopped cuddling the piglet for a moment.

"Xian Pu, I'll give you all the male of me you can handle tonight." Ranma grinned and watched a little drool escape out of a suddenly salivating mouth of Xian Pu.

"Did you find anything?" Ranma asked bring the lavender haired girl out of her stupor.

"Xian Pu find Camilla!" Xian Pu explained, pointing to a small chameleon nestled in her hair. It had turned itself bright purple to blend in with her hair and was nearly invisible. Ranma took a close look, at the small lizard. It was laboring very hard at something. Then suddenly it dropped the purple color, and turned a pale green. It panted heavily for a moment or two, then went back to being purple. One of it's eyes trained on Ranma, just long enough to be treated with a comical smile. The Lizard quickly looked away and scanned the room.

"What do you suppose it eats?" asked the red headed girl.

"Don't know, maybe fruit?" Xian Pu was rudely corrected when Camilla's tongue extended it self a couple feet, and caught a moth flying behind Ranma's head.

"Eeeeewwww!" Cried Xian Pu

"Woah, where does it keep all that tongue?"

"Eeeeewwww!"

"Think of the possibilities if I could learn how to do that."

"mmmmhhhhhh…"

"That a girl."

"You youngsters ready?" Khu Lon asked, after pogoing up to them. Ranma and Xian Pu showed the matriarch their new familiars. Khu Lon paid the shop keeper with a few random gems, and they left.

Meanwhile at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies

"What do you mean he's not bewitched?" Luscious sneered.

"Exactly that, what ever caused it wasn't magical in nature. Nothing we can try is helping either. All the same It can't last too much longer. I'm surprised it's lasted this long. I wouldn't expect a boy his size to have that much in him. It seems to be slowing down though. It'll be best if we let it run its course." The nurse answered somberly. "Probably just a little too blue blooded" She mentally added.

"Alert me when he's fit to return home." Malfoy ordered a bone thin house elf who accompanied him.

"Yes Master."

Neville Longbottom's voice could be heard in the background.

"Draco is that you? WOAH!!!"

"Stop laughing gillweed!"

Slightly later at the Leaky Cauldron tavern, three friends were discussing the events of the day.

"You're not serious… He couldn't possibly have…" Laughed Ron.

"Completely serious," Harry chuckled.

"It's not funny… "Hermione said straight laced. Laughter slowed, to a chuckle and stopped.

"Yes it is" whispered Ron, and all three exploded back into laughter. Ron stopped laughing when the door to the tavern opened and a very old women hopping on a staff entered. Ron started to laugh even harder until he saw who followed her in.

The two most beautiful girls he has seen since Flora followed the elderly woman in. Each was more dangerously buxom than the other. The shorter of the two had red hair pulled back into a long braided ponytail. The other teen had purple hair styled loose with decorative buns. The purple haired one wore a tight Chinese style mini dress. It looked a several sizes to small, and left nothing to imagine as to what the curves were and where they lead to. The red head wore pants and a shirt, also in a Chinese style, but unlike the other girl, her clothes looked several sizes to big.

"That can't be natural…" Ron commented. Hermione and Harry turned.

"The old woman? Wow! She really get's around on that thing," Offered Hermione.

"Their hair color? I wonder if they're like Tonks" Counter offered Harry.

"I was referring to what they were doing with their hands."

"Oh."

"OH,"

"That's kinda hot."

"Hermione, I can't look away." Hermione promptly kicked Ron in the shin.

"Ow. Thanks, I think"

"You're still looking."

"You can kick me again if you want. I don't think it'll help." Hermione promptly stormed off.

"What got into her?"

"How should I know?"

"Quick we need to stop staring, let's make like we're reading our new books."

Ranma-chan looked around the tavern. Structurally it was very similar to most she had seen. Wooden beams with pictures of customers and employees, check. Colorful locals, check. Boys pretending to read an upside down book so they don't get caught checking her out, check.

Khu Lon was engaged in making arrangements with one of the more colorful characters. The person was a large man. He had no hair on top his head, but plenty spilling out his nose and ears.

Ranma-chan spotted a kettle next to the two teenage boys who had their heads ducked down behind an upside down tome entitled "Great Moments in Quidditch History, Vol. XXXII" Ranma approached the boys who seemed to duck down even further. Ranma-chan suspected their chins were now complete embedded in the table. Lifting the teapot over head and tilting it.

As the water poured free and hot on to suddenly male Ranma, Harry and Ron dropped their chins even lower.

"I may not be too good at English, but I'm pretty sure you'll find your book easier to read this way." Ranma commented, rotating the book for them.

"Look I'm not going to beat you up or anything. But, please keep your tongues in you mouths, and stop staring at me an Xian Pu. Okay?"

Harry and Ron dumbly nodded.

"Okay, cool then." Satisfied Ranma walked away from the gawking teens.

"So ever seen something like that before Ron?"

"Nope…"

"Think Hermione will have a clue?"

"Yeah."

"Think she's still mad."

"Yeah"

"Damn."

Returning to the Amazon's company Ranma found Khu Lon studying him.

"Son-in-law, try not to flaunt your curse so much. You are not widely known here, and it may prove useful. Hopefully more than what my great granddaughter demonstrated last night." Khu Lon instructed.

"Sorry granny. I guess I figured everyone would figure it out sooner or later" Ranm apologized.

"Don't worry child, I doubt those two are of much importance. Let's go to our room." Khu Lon led the trio up the stairs.

"I got you a single room to share. Try not to make me regret it."

"Thank you Great Grandmother! Xian Pu be too too quite!" Xian Pu excitedly piped.

"I some how doubt it grandchild, besides I wasn't referring to you."

Ranma Gulped.

Authors Notes:

* Fu Rou is some severly inacurate Chinese for "Man Meat". If anyone who actually knows Chinese would care to correct me please do.

I've got a rough drafts for the next couple chapters. So any one interested in beta reading and helping me with my grammar, please PM me. Chapter three is my favorite so far, and I'm looking forward to sharing it with you. The angsty bits are done with for a while, and now I can concentrate on adventure, and fun bits/bytes.

The two, more or less, original characters are Camilla, and P-Onna. I'm planning some fun stuff for them, and hopefully they will avoid the dreaded anoying new character tendency.

So far this Fic seems to be attracting a lot of Xian Pu Fans. To be honest, Theis fic is making me a a bigger fan of Xian Pu. I hope Akane fans will not dismiss this outright. When the muse gifted me with the plot for this fic, there was simply no way to make this a Ranma and Akane fic. Akane had to die for the plot to work. Khu Lon was the perfect mentor, well Happosai could have worked, but Where Khu Lon goes Xian Pu goes. I hope this fic will help expand the palate, so to speak, for the various "factions" of Ranma fans who support one fiance over another. Especially those who feel that the other fiances should "rot in hell". While Akane is a personal favorite, this work is a pleasure to write, and this work has opened me to seek out other match ups.

While many authors, notably PJ Woodhouse, are well critical of their critics. I do honestly appreciate those who have been honest in their thoughts of my work. I admit that my writing needs considerable polish, and I need a grammar nazi sitting over my shoulder. This is partly due to me getting sick of sitting on this work for a month or two waiting for some IRL friends and family, to beta read. I promise to rewrite this as soon as I get it back covered in red/purple ink.

However, I do believe that Ranma and Xian Pu are presented very much in canon.

Some have suggested that Ranma would not be broken up of Akane's Death. I believe that Ranma's reaction is very much in canon. While Ranma has gone out of his way to repair broken relationships with all of his fiances, except maybe Kodachi (Though the White Lily story arch comes to mind), he is consistantly fought to preserve his relationship with Akane the most. And admitted to loving her in vol 38 of the Manga.

In regards to Xian Pu's more assertive sexuality, I do not believe I'm stretching her to far beyond herslef in Canon. In the Anime and Manga, she is constantly sneaking into Ranma's bath and bed. Often with little or no clothes. One of the themes I'm looking to develop in this story, is Ranma coming to grips with sex. In terms of his relationship with Xian Pu(starting silly will go from there), and his own gender. I recommend the story newRanma, which is probably my favorite Ranma fanfic ever. Someday I might make available the rather, silly/trashy lemon scene I wrote.

Another thing to consider is that Ranma's main fiances are all different archtypes for different kinds of relationships. Ukyou is depicted as being the supportive love, that transcends the nature of the relationship. Ranma is often is depicting treating her as a sister, or close friend. Akane, is the love that reminds people, or atleast me, of high school romances. Together Ranma and Akane are passionate, in denial, and they fight alot. They constantly breakup and then make up. They are constantly put into brief powerful moments of intimacy, and tease eachother sexually, but don't put out. Also neither side is really mature enough to know how to handle it, or atleast able sit down and talk about how they honestly feel about each other. God I was an idiot in high school ;P. Kodachi personifines romance, her fascination with flowers, her monologues describing her vision of herself and Ranma(notably nothing close to reality:D). Kodachi often puts herself in the role of distressed damsel, and Ranma the shining knight or prince. Finaly Xian Pu is a sex pot. Pure and simple, she's probably the most voluptious(aside from Ranma herself), provides almost as much fanservice as Ranma, and Akane. She consistently wears clothing that leaves the least to the imagination. Also her broken Japanese and foreignness also emphasise her overt sexuallness over the other fiances. Further proof can be taken from the nature of the Amazonian Law that binds her to Ranma. The kiss of marriage is all about pedigree breeding. An outsider has bested a local in combat, so if we make the outsider a member of the tribe, We can infuse his genetic potential and talent into the furure generations. The "unlucky" victor against an Amazon finds themselves turned into a a stud service for the breeding needs of the entire tribe..

In conclusion Thank you for the criticism, especially if I disagree. And stay tuned for the next chapter. Same Ranma Channel. Same Ranma Time, or sooner if I can get some more pre-readers :)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: Look we all know I'm neither JK Rowling nor am I Rumiko Takahashi. If you represent these parties please contact me privately and I will be provide a sincere apology and pull my story.

Chapter 3

Ranma awakened entangled again. This time he was literally tied up. Soft cotton ropes bound his wrists and legs to the frame of the bed. Ranma looked carefully at the ropes and tried to determine how to extradite himself.

"Airen very naughty last night…" Xian Pu said announcing her presence.

"Is that why I'm tied up Xian Pu?" Ranma asked…

"No, you already tied up. Xian Pu refers to when you chewed through gag." Xian Pu lifted a small scrap of fabric. Its shape was not identifiable but the fabric was. Slowly, Ranma's face reddened in embarrassment and recognition.

"It wasn't much of a gag anyway." Xian Pu shrugged.

"Are you going to untie me?"

"Great Grandmother says we leave for train much later. We find our own amusement." Xian Pu replied holding a glass of cold water and another "gag" previously from her person.

Ranma swallowed hard.

A couple hours later Ranma descended the stairs, a bit wobbly, with his knapsack on his back. Luckily Xian Pu had a kettle hidden in the room and allowed Ranma to change back to a guy before they left. A content Xian Pu followed beside him.

"Yo, Khu Lon let's go!" Ranma called.

"Yes, yes, sonny." Khu Lon replied, and then paused. She stared at the stupid toothy grin on her Son-in-Law's face.

"You have something stuck in your teeth." She finally concluded. A horrified Ranma, quickly closed his mouth and began in earnest to fish out the foreign object with his tongue. His attempt to do so discreetly was ruined when he tripped over an uneven floor board, and fell flat on his face. People stared at the increasingly flustered Ranma.

Looking up from his prone position on the floor, he spotted the small lump that had been escaping his efforts. It was a small chunk of bacon, which had finally vacated from between his teeth when he hit the floor. Slowly Ranma remembered that Xian Pu fed him in bed this morning. She had insisted that he must be hungry after he accidentally chewed through the last of her "gags."

Ranma pondered if they would get charged for making a huge mess in the room. It wasn't his fault Xian Pu made breakfast so messy. Chop sticks are a very refined method of food distribution. They are perfect for moving food from plate to mouth. Unfortunately, despite Xian Pu's eagerness and talents, chop sticks just worked much better than her anatomy.

"A lot more fun though" Ranma mentally decided.

Getting up and making a demonstration of benign clumsiness he failed to limit the growing attention he was gathering. Realizing the rapidly festering situation, he quickly slipped into the Umisenken. Cloaked in the forbidden Saotome art he quickly ran to catch up to the departing Khu Lon and Xian Pu.

Dropping the Umisenken he paused just long enough to watch the crowd that had gathered depart.

He grinned at the Amazon's with a now evidence free smile.

"Very nice son-in-law, we have a short walk to the station. Try not to draw anymore attention."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Ranma replied to the disinterested old woman.

After a short walk they arrived at a set of stairs leading up. The stairs were congested with all sorts of families making their way up the stairs. Finally reaching the top of the stairs Ranma gazed in wonder at the old styled train that filled his sight.

Back in Japan trains were streamlined and sleek. They were designed to get people from one spot to another with amazing speed and efficiency. The train in front of him was completely different.

This train was nothing like the trains he was used to. Black iron, a massive steam pipe, and the deep bellowing rumble of the engine were a stark contrast to the electric hum and streamlined lines of the silvery bullet trains back home. While it didn't look as fast, it seamed more powerful, and built for luxury. Ranma's adventure senses tingled in anticipation.

Finally boarding the train Khu Lon disappeared into the dining car seeking some tea and place to smoke her pipe in peace. Xian Pu and Ranma slowly made their way amongst the raucous cabins to a quiet one containing the familiar faces of the teens they saw back at the Leaky Cauldron.

"May we join you?" Ranma asked the group. They were nervous, Ron and Harry couldn't take their eyes off Ranma, and Hermione cast a steady, suspicious gaze at Xian Pu. But they nodded, and Xian Pu and Ranma entered, closing the door behind them.

Ranma sensing an opportunity to do some damage control, and break the ice spoke up.

"Hi I'm Ranma Saotome, and this is Xian Pu"

"Nihao" Xian Pu said.

"Uhmm, My name is Harry" The boy with glasses and ragged hair replied.

"R-R-Ron" the red head replied.

"Hermione Grainger, pleased to meat you Ranma" Hermione Politely introduced herself.

"So I guess you're your wondering how I transformed yesterday, huh?" Ranma continued. Hermione looked confused but Ron and Harry nodded dumbly.

Xian Pu looked oddly at Ranma and said something to the Japanese boy. That the three younger teens didn't understand. Ranma replied to Xian Pu than addressed them.

"Xian Pu wanted to know where I learned English. I explained that my father took me to America to train with some SEALs when I was younger." Getting back to the topic on hand Ranma continued.

"Have any of you heard of Jusenkyo?" The reference was lost on Harry and Ron but Hermione stared wide at Ranma.

"The Pools of Sorrow? They really exist?" Hermione was flabbergasted… she had read about it in a book entitled "Lost Magical Places" Seeing Ron and Harry's puzzled looks she explained.

"It is a place with over a hundred springs, each one has its own magical curse." Ranma nodded at the explanation.

"My father took me there as a training exercise. I knocked him into a pool, and when he came out, he took me by surprise and knocked me into Nyannichuan. Now whenever I get splashed with cold water I turn into a girl, Hot water turns me back." Finally understanding appeared on Ron and Harry's faces.

"May we see?" Hermione asked utterly fascinated.

"Yeah sure, but you got to promise not to tell anyone… It's kind of embarrassing." Ranma replied. The three friends quickly agreed, and Ranma spotted an approaching snack cart.

When it arrived the attendant looked suspiciously at Ranma who only wanted only a cup of plain cold water and a cup of hot water. But she complied, and was more than happy to sell a few chocolate frogs and a few boxes pumpkin juice to Harry and his friends.

Having procured the catalysts he closed the blinds, and splashed himself with most of the cold water. The change was instantaneous to lookers on but to Ranma it always felt like it took forever. Xian Pu giggled a little remembering last night when she several studious examinations of the dramatic part of the change, when she had Ranma tied up and naked.

"Woah!" Ron exclaimed.

Harry blinked for a moment, until Ranma finished the demonstration with the hot water turning himself back into a male.

Hermione stared at the Asian teens, trying to decide what to make of them. Just yesterday Ron, and Harry, had been utterly captivated by the two exotic teens. The red head was actually a guy, and the purple haired one, Xian Pu, was obviously completely devoted to Ranma. She suddenly felt more secure and relaxed.

"Xian Pu doesn't speak English, does she Ranma?" Hermione asked.

"No, she barely speaks Japanese; she's actually a Chinese Amazon." Hermione puzzled at the concept of a Chinese Amazon for a moment.

"I can cast a spell that will allow her to speak English, if you like." Ranma, proposed the option to Xian Pu, who eagerly nodded in agreement.

"_Linguista Gnostico_" Hermione said and waved her wand at Xian Pu. A bright pink beam shot Xian Pu in the head.

"Did it work?" Harry Asked.

"Aiyah! It work too to good!" Xian Pu answered.

Hermione wrinkled her nose, and thought hard.

"That's odd it should have worked. I cast it correctly" She finally concluded.

"Don't worry about it. It'll be fine." Ranma commented.

"She sounds like a bimbo!" Hermione complained.

"Xian Pu sound like Xian Pu" Xian Pu confidently proclaimed. Hermione was about to contradict, but decided that it wasn't worth the effort.

Ranma stared at Xian Pu with a raised eyebrow, just long enough for Xian Pu to wink at him. Shaking his head with a slight grin, he attempted to smooth the situation.

"Don't worry about it. Xian Pu's never let a language barrier slow her down in the past." Their new friends shrugged in acceptance, and Ranma suddenly became agitated. A familiar voice had broken through the regular clicking of the train's passage.

"I'm telling you Blaise, She was red head! Natural if you know what I mean. She was all over me! She even invited this purple haired friend to join…" The rest of the conversation who was lost on the occupants of the cabin, as Ranma stood. The air in the cabin dropped in temperature and the windows started to frost. Noticing a small amount of hot and cold was still left, he grabbing the cup of cold water. Dumping the water on his self, she turned to the door and slid out.

The remaining occupants rushed to the door and peered out.

"Go get him Ranma!" Hermione whispered.

"Leave some for Xian Pu!" The lavender haired girl urged.

Ranma made a silencing motion behind her, and snuck up on the blond boaster. Blaise spotting the approaching redhead, and noted the smile curved with angry glee. He backed off slightly, recognizing the danger of interfering.

Ranma curled her arm around the front of Draco's chest, and slid her hand into the greasy hair of the back of his head.

"Miss me?" She cooed into Draco's ear.

Draco turned to face the red head. His face became pale and splotchy as the blood drained from his face.

"This will sting a little at first. But tomorrow, it will hurt like hell." Ranma-chan promised.

Blaise stared in shock unable to turn away. Hermione fainted. Harry and Ron pulled their heads back into the cabin and dragged Hermione with her. Xian Pu nodded in approval. Ranma-chan having finished her work, walked away.

Draco was incapable of doing anything at the moment. He was bent over far enough that he should be able to see behind him. But his head was imbedded up to his nose in himself. Gasping for a moment, he quickly tried to extradite himself.

Ranma chan looked back just long enough to see Draco's pointless if not valiant attempts to get free. Grinning he snuck back into the cabin, and dumped the remaining hot water on her head.

"Sorry. That baka had it coming." A now male Ranma explained, as Hermione came to.

"None of us will argue with that. Draco's a total git. We'll keep your secret safe. Anyone who'll do that to Draco is okay in my book." Harry heartily agreed.

"Plus we really don't want to piss you off!" Ron added.

"Did you really do, what I think you were doing to him?" Hermione asked. A tortured cry for help by Draco answered her question.

Ron couldn't stand it any longer and started cracking up. When Ranma and Xian Pu looked at him bewildering, Harry explained.

"I was in Diagon Alley yesterday and saw Draco mess his pants. I told Ron and Hermione about. I think Ron is really enjoying Draco's recent misfortunes."

"Do you mean when I gave him the 'Trumpeting Elephant Eating Mud' pressure point on him yesterday?" Ranma asked.

"You did that?!" Harry stared in shock.

"Yeah he made some lewd comments directed at my girl half and Xian Pu. I gave him a warning. He obviously didn't heed it." Ranma shrugged.

"Whoa… how old are you? I mean you look a couple years older, I mean your going to Hogwarts, but you sure don't seam to need it." Harry asked.

"I turned eighteen a few months back, but I only recently learned that I was a wizard."

"But you barely qualify as a seventh year. How do they expect you to learn enough to graduate?" Hermione asked.

"I learn fast, I'll catch up." Ranma said nonchalantly.

Hermione looked non-believingly.

Suddenly the door burst open, and Blaise and Severus Snape stood at the door. Blaise turned to Snape.

"She's not in here Sir." Blaise said.

"You told me you watched her enter, and no one left." Snape slowly questioned. He looked carefully, pausing on Ranma and Xian Pu.

"You are new, and too old to be a first year. Who are you?" He questioned.

"I am Ranma, I'm from Japan."

"Xian Pu of the Chinese Amazons"

"I doubt that. Still with the exception of Weasily I don't see any red heads." He turned to Blaise.

"Are you sure it wasn't Ronald? His hair and manner might be confused with girl." Ron started to jump but Harry's fast hand gripped his shoulder, and made him keep his seat.

Snape entered the cabin. He searched the room with his gaze. He was looking for something. Not finding what he was looking for he centered his gaze on the Asian teens.

He was about to say something, when Khu Lon hopped up.

"Well if it isn't young Master Snape!" She greeted the dark haired man. Snape turned and stared at the old women.

"Professor Khu Lon! This is a rare pleasure. What are you doing here?" He asked. Harry noted a rare inflection in his voice, respect. Harry thought his ears were playing tricks on him.

"Professor?" Ranma mouthed to Xian Pu who shrugged.

"Oh accompanying my great-granddaughter and her fiancé to Hogwarts. Albus has been positively begging me to teach again. I might take him up."

Snape turned to the young occupants of the cabin, and announced.

"You will all be very lucky to study under Khu Lon," he announced.

"She might actually turn one of you something close to real wizard." He finished.

"The culprit is not in here. She'll turn up soon enough." Snape said to Khu Lon.

"And, I happen to have on my person a rather delightful blend of tea, could I persuade you to join me in the faculty car? I imagine that Ms. McGonagall will be delighted to see you again."

"I haven't seen Minerva in forever! I would be absolutely delighted." Khu Lon answered.

Snape, gave his universal "This is not the end of this…" look, and exited the cabin. Khu Lon hopped over to Ranma.

"I'm sure he deserved it, but I had to relocate 4 ribs, and knock his spine back in shape. You're lucky you didn't paralyze the boy. You won't be able to get away with that kind of behavior in Hogwarts… I recommend you be more careful." She whispered to Ranma in Japanese.

"Coming Khu Lon?" Snape called back.

"Oh yes Severus, just instructing my granddaughter to behave herself." Khu Lon replied leaving the cabin. Leaving Blaise standing in the hall, he looked disturbed. Fumbling he stuck his head in the cabin.

"Hey look, if you see that red head, can you tell her I that didn't have a choice? I mean, I couldn't tell the teachers that Draco did that to himself. Not literally anyways." Blaise said as he left. He didn't sound sincere, but it was clear he wanted nothing to do with Ranma's girl side.

"That, was close" Ron sighed, when Blaise had finally moved beyond ear shot.

"Did you see Snape? He treated her like royalty!" Harry exclaimed.

"Khu Lon, said that Albus was an old friend. Maybe she used to teach at Hogwarts? It would explain why he referred to her as Professor" Ranma suggested.

The group pondered it for a while.

"So, Draco did anything in particular to you guys or is he generally a jerk?" Ranma asked.

"Draco's generally a git. Especially to people he thinks are below him." Harry started. Ranma looked confused.

"What he means to say is, Draco's pure blooded and treats any one with muggle blood as subhuman" Hermione finished. Ranma's eyes narrowed.

"Really now?"

"His whole family's like that." Harry Commented.

"Yeah, his father's a big supporter of _you know who_" Ron added.

"I know who?" Ranma asked.

"Oh right, you might not know of him." Hermione answered.

"A couple decades ago, an evil wizard started terrorizing the magical world." Hermione started.

"He tortured and killed hundreds of wizards, mostly mixed blooded. But he also murdered any who didn't follow him or his supporters." She continued. Ranma sat in his seat, staring blankly at his hands. They tensed and balled into fists nervously.

"His followers?" he probed.

"Deatheaters." Harry answered.

"Aiyah…" Xian Pu whispered, watching Ranma's reaction. Ranma continued to stare at his fists. His knuckles began to whiten with stress.

"Ranma, are you okay?" Hermione asked. Ranma stared at his hands, and pondered more permanent solutions for the blond irritant.

"Is that Draco one of them?" he finally answered

"Hardly, he's a jerk…" Hermione replied…

"Among other things" Ron interjected.

"But he's too weak for Moldy Voldy to accept him, yet." Harry concluded. Ranma relaxed a bit at this.

Harry watched Ranma's reaction, and thought about the boy's humiliation of Draco. Ranma had seamed furious at Draco's comments. But after he had impaled Draco upon his own head, he seamed quite passive regarding the boy. At least until the conversation turned to the Deatheaters. He seemed very angry, almost vengeful. It was almost as if he had heard of them before, and had a deep vendetta against them. Harry started to feel a deep understanding, and a sense of trust began to form with the older boy.

"You've heard of them before haven't you Ranma." Harry pried carefully.

"Yeah, something like that."

"You don't like them much, do you? Neither do I" Harry agreed.

"Can we stop talking this?" Ranma said, hoping to change the subject.

"Sorry." Harry apologized.

"It's okay."

Harry pondered for a moment.

"Look Ranma just so you know, Voldemort, the Dark wizard we were talking about?"

"Yeah"

"Look he was gone for a while, but last year, he returned. He killed a student last year. I watched him do it. He's gathering his old supporters, and probably some new ones. No one believes us, but he's back. We're going to fight him. You in?"

"I'm the greatest martial artist who ever lived… I'll win this war for you."

Author's Notes:

Sorry for the long wait readers! I've been trying to get a beta reader or two but so far ever one has promised to help hasn't. I'm hoping another chapter will drum up some interest.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's notes:

I finally got a beta reader! Hopefully this chapter will be contain alot less mistakes.

Obviously I'm borrowing a characters and stuff from Rumiko Takahashi, and J K Rowling. I've also grabbed lyrics from some rather famous musicians... Any lyrics below are not mine.

Chapter 4

The next few hours Ranma spent listening to Harry's experiences over the summer. Mostly it sounded boring. Very boring, until Harry and his cousin had been attacked by something called a dementor. Harry fought it off, but had to use magic to do it. It hadn't taken long for the ministry magic to accuse Harry of "Inappropriate Use of Magic by a Minor."

"They sound like a bunch of jerks." Ranma commented at one point.

"Hey! My dad works for the ministry," Ron defended.

"Yeah, it was mostly that Umbridge Lady. She was the most aggressive one."

"Xian Pu think 'heinous bitch' is best description, no?"

Harry laughed, "I really hope I never see her again."

"Anyways Dumbledore came to my rescue, during the trial. He wanted me to stay…with some friends…but I was sick of being locked up over the summer and was able to talk my way into getting at least one day out and about. Of course I was being watched constantly, but it was worth it to see what you did to Malfoy."

Ranma grinned and stretched back, basking in the memory.

"What were you up to?" Harry asked Hermione and Ron.

"Actually Harry, Ron and I were made prefects! Isn't that great?" Hermione was ecstatic.

"That's great Hermione, Ron. Really bully." Harry said, distractedly. Hermione and Ron stared at the Boy Who Lived.

'He's upset about something' Hermione thought. She watched as Harry rolled his eyes briefly towards Ranma and Xian Pu.

'But he doesn't want say anything in front of Ranma and Xian Pu' Hermione's thought, as she absently gazed at the voluptuous girl with lavender hair. Finding herself watching the girl, she studied the interaction of her new friends. Ranma seemed tentative, but comfortable with Xian Pu. She watched the way Xian Pu frequently touched Ranma. Hermione took a casual interest in Xian Pu's caressing of his hand, and her leaning up against him.

She looked to Ron and Harry. Boys were so stupid. At least Ranma looked like he knew what to do with a girl. Of course he was one, part time.

A knock at the door broke her concentration, and announced a visitor.

Ranma opened the door, and Khu Lon leaned into the cabin on her staff.

"Glad to find you fully clothed son-in-law." Cologne chuckled, and looked at the gathered youngsters. Her casual glance turned to a careful study of Harry.

"Some times I wonder about your luck sonny. You didn't knee a Buddha in the groin in a past life did you? Well in any case, we'll be arriving soon. So put your robes on. I've arranged for you to be in classes with the fifth year students. This year they will be studying up for their OWL's, so they will be spending much of the year reviewing older material, and polishing their skills. With a little tutoring you might just be able to catch up." The elder said.

"When the train stops, however I want you to find the first year students. There are certain traditions to uphold." Khu Lon concluded, before leaving the cabin.

Ranma didn't like this one bit. School hadn't even begun yet for the year and there was already talk of tests.

"Hey Xian Pu, let's leave the boys here while we go put our robes on." Hermione invited.

"Why? Xian Pu can change right here."

Hermione was about point out three reasons why this was a bad idea, when Xian Pu started to remove the Mandarin dress she wore.

Ron and Harry were both unconscious before Xian Pu revealed anything. Their noses had erupted in blood, and they fell to the ground into two small heaps. A gentle grin betrayed their dreams. Ranma managed to stay conscious, but Xian Pu threw her dress over his head blocking his vision before she put her robe on.

"Why aren't you wearing anything under your robes Xian Pu?" Hermione asked as Ron and Harry attempted to start regaining consciousness. This was a doomed effort, as Ron and Harry were now significantly deeper into the realm of sweet, sweet dreams.

With Ron and Harry solidly unconscious, and Ranma was blinded by Xian Pu's dress, Hermione quickly followed Xian Pu's lead.

An hour later, the train finally pulled to a stop.

Bidding their new friends goodbye, Xian Pu and Ranma made their way over to the group of first years. The younger students looked like toddlers as they mobbed around a large man. Ranma stared at the figure, he was simply ginormous, ginormous and hairy. He stood nearly twice as tall as Ranma's girl half, and his huge thick beard dominated the lower half of his face.

"Gather around first years. My name is professor Hagrid." the man announced with jovial grin. Xian Pu giggled at the way his beard bobbed like gelatin in a minor earthquake.

"Everyone here? Good, good."

Ranma and Xian Pu stuck out in the crowd, standing two to three heads taller than the tallest first year student. Many of the students, looked at them quizzically. Ranma could imagine them wondering, what they were doing, how old they were and where they were from. Luckily the giant broke the atmosphere.

"You must be the transfer students Miss Khu Lon-chan* brought with her" Hagrid exclaimed.

"Uh yeah, that would be us." Ranma commented.

"Aiyah, Great-grand-mother too famous here!" Xian Pu exclaimed.

"Anyway I know you're all anxious to get to Hogwarts, so follow me. We'll be taking boats across the lake. Don't mind the kraken; it'll leave you alone as long as you follow a few basic rules of safety. Rule #1, do not taunt the kraken. Rule #2, keep all appendages, limbs inside the boat" As Hagrid spouted a long list of rules. Ranma stared at the fleet of rickety old boats with dread.

"And finally Rule #247; don't spit pomegranate seeds into the lake. He really hates it when you do that." Hagrid concluded.

After a brief affirmative, the students climbed into the boats. Staring at the rickety dinghy, Xian Pu and Ranma approached it slowly. Seeing that everyone else had already boarded their own boats, they carefully stepped into the rowboat. It rocked lightly but stayed up right, and Ranma was happy to find the interior dry and absent of leaks.

Ranma started looking for oars, but before he found any the boat started to glide away from shore, and into a silent procession with the rest of the fleet. Ranma stared out across the lake.

The water was murky and with only moonlight to go by it was difficult to tell how deep the water was. Xian Pu suddenly gripped Ranma's hand tightly and silently pointed to the water a few feet to the side of the boat. Two eyes, glowing with moonlight, shone up from the water. Details were not visible, but the eyes were separated by at least a foot, whatever it was, it was huge. Suddenly the _thing_ crested the surface its wet scales sparkling like worn sequins. It did not stay visible for long, as it dove silent and quickly. Its tail remained visible the longest, as it rose several feet into the air before fluttering its way below the water surface.

The next several minutes were a nervous affair, as Ranma and Xian Pu waited for the beast to burst to the surface. But the creature did not return, and Ranma and Xian Pu slowly relaxed, as the boat made its way over to the large castle. Soon the moonlight was replaced by scattered torches as the boats came to a rest in dock tucked in large cave under the castle. Stepping out of the boat Ranma and Xian Pu disembarked from the dinghy, dry and in their birth forms.

"All right students, please form a queue. We'll be sorting you into your houses shortly. Ranma, Xian Pu please come on up to the front," he instructed. When there was finally enough of a line formed he lead them into the school. Ranma and Xian Pu marveled at the sights in the castle. Stairways moved, doors appeared and vanished, and the people in pictures looked alive! Eventually, Hagrid slowed the group to a stop in front of the entrance to a large hall.

Inside, a man who looked older than anyone Ranma had ever met stood addressing the students. He seemed even older than Happosai and Khu Lon! Oddly his body had resisted the shrinkage Ranma had come to expect from the elderly. Looking at his face, Ranma spotted the same wizened twinkling eyes of youthful energy and joy that Ranma saw in the elders from Nerima.

"This year students, I take great pride to announce that an old friend of mine, Professor Khu Lon will be joining the staff of Hogwarts. She will assist with the teaching of _Muggle Relations_ and _Magical History_." The old man proclaimed.

"We, indeed, are lucky to be graced by her presence. Before I became Head Master, Khu Lon was one our top instructors and her return from the Far East is truly a great blessing." The old man waited for a moment as applause broke out.

"Also new to our staff this year will be Professor Dolores Umbridge. She will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts." The old man gestured to something resembling a giant, pink, and fuzzy marshmallow. The woman stood and curtsied to the large crowd of students. There was some polite applause, and a few sympathetic whispers were audible amongst the tables.

"And now the Sorting!" Dumbledore announced, to thunderous applause. Gesturing the cheering down, the wizard continued his proclamation.

"The honor of being sorted first shall go to a pair of transfer students, which have accompanied Professor Khu Lon. Ranma Saotome, please come forward for the sorting."

As Ranma entered, he surveyed the students who looked at him in curiosity. They were of mixed ages but Ranma did notice a fair number close to his age. He flashed a grin at the crowd and many girls sighed at his confident smile, blue eyes and chiseled chin. He noticed many boys noticing the girls noticing him. He smirked at their green looks.

"Just like Nerima… Just really weird school uniforms." Ranma determined.

When he approached the platform, he was pointed to a seat, behind which Dumbledore stood smiling friendly at him. Dumbledore was holding the ugliest hat Ranma had ever seen. The hat swayed clumsily back and forth. Sitting down and facing the students, Ranma suddenly felt the weight of the old shapeless hat upon his head.

"Heyz… you guyz… I haven't had a chanze to zing yet…" The hat complained. Dumbledore paused and held the hat out, presenting it to the school. At which point the

hat started to sing:

_Well when I get drunk_

_I walk like a duck and smell like a skunk_

_Don't hurt me nothing don't hurt my pride,_

_Cause I got my girl right by my side_

_She's trying to hide._

_Pretend she don't know me._

_Wooo H__oooo_

_The telephone rang_

_It was president Kennedy calling me up._

_He said "My friend Bob how do I make the country grow"_

_I said "My Friend John Bridgette Bardeaux…"_

_"Anetta Etberg"_

_"Sophia Lorene"_

_"County'll grow"_

At this point the hat paused. Grumbled to itself and then apologized.

"That's not a sorting song… that's Bob Dylan… hold on let's see. Ahem"

_Let's get it on…_

"No, not quite right either."

_I feeeeeel nice, _

_Like sugar and spice…_

"Nope screw it… Let's get this going; I'd like to be done before my hangover sets in." Dumbledore looked irritated but smiled, and set the hat on Ranma's head.

"_Well, well, w__hat do we have here__?" A voice__ entered Ranma's mind._

"_You the hat?" Ranma asked._

"_Correct if ineloquent. You're old for the sorting, really old,__ took a while to get here__ huh? Well we better __get __started..." The Hat's voice replied._

"_Let's see strong, confidence, more confidence, and even more confidence. Great googly moogly! You got some massive ego kid. What else… brave, and a recent loss. Someone very close..." The hat got more somber._

"_Your friends are important. You'd make a great Hufflepuff. Definitely not Ravenclaw material, you're not equipped for it. You'd be a fair Slytherin, but I think…" _

"Gryffindor!" The hat shouted aloud. One of the tables exploded in applause, and Ranma was guided to that table. There Ron, Hermione, and Harry made room for him to join him into the house.

Ranma listened as Xian Pu was announced, as he took his seat. Ranma watched in amusement as the reactions of the genders reversed, as women fumed, and boy's leered.

Xian Pu sat down and the hat began to speak to her.

"_You're an interesting one__. Ravenclaw I think, yes defin…" the hat started._

"_You will put me in with Airen or I will disassemble you and remake you into a pair of boxers for Hagrid…" She thought back._

"Gryffindor!" The hat quickly piped out. Xian Pu Giggled in pleasure, kissed the hat, and ran down to join Ranma as the table erupted in cheer.

Ranma and Xian Pu were the hot topic at the Gryphandor table. Harry and Ron began to introduce them to the rest of their house, pausing to cheer on any new allies to join the household as the first years were sorted.

"And that concludes the sorting…" Dumbledore was cut off when Filch came running up and whispered into the headmaster's ear.

"Oh it seems we have one more! I do love surprises. She is another transfer student, in fact!" Dumbledore announced. Ranma and Xian Pu turned to the front to see the last to be sorted. Ranma froze cold.

"No. Not her" he whispered, seeing the identity of the new student.

"Oh ho ho ho ho!" Kodachi Kuno cackled from up front.

"Xian Pu under the table!" Ranma whispered.

"Now?" She whispered through an impish grin.

"Yes now, we don't want to be seen" he hurried. Xian Pu dove under the table, and Ranma slipped into the Umisenken. Once he was out of sight Ranma relaxed a little, confident that they would remain undiscovered.

"Headmaster? As it is traditional in my homeland, I'd like to introduce myself to my classmates." Kodachi asked with an informing tone. Dumbledore smiled and let her step even further upstage.

"You are to kind Headmaster Dumbledore" Kodachi started.

"Attention fellow students of Hogwarts, you're all very blessed to have been given the opportunity to study with me this year. I know that you'll soon recognize me as the brightest, most beautiful…" She began. Slowly as Kodachi pontificated upon her grace and virtues, the mood in the room turned. What was normally a joyous affair had turned to pure tedium. At first Dumbledore smiled genuinely, but his eyes began to betray a certain determination. No one ruined one of his feasts….

"Can you believe her?" Hermione whispered to her housemates.

"And as every boy here is certainly taken with my flawless beauty, and will surely wish to attempt to woo the virtuous, and pure, heart of the Black Rose…" Kodachi continued in her speech.

"Hey Ranma, this isn't normal in Japan is it? Hey where's Ranma?" Ron asked, noticing that Ranma seat was now empty.

While the student body was straining to keep attention to the narcissistic dribble spouting from Kodachi, Ranma was straining to keep quiet and still, as Xian Pu had found her way into his robes.

With a determined, almost zealous look in his eye Dumbledore crept behind Kodachi, and dropped the sorting hat on her head, mid sentence.

"Slytherin!" it proclaimed, and every table but Slytherin's sighed in relief. The Slytherin's cheered, lightly, and Kodachi stepped down to join her new housemates.

The place settings at Ranma's spot rattled for a moment.

"All clear" Ranma whispered trembling to Xian Pu who reluctantly crawled back to her seat.

Reappearing in front of Harry and the gang, Ranma startled his new friends.

"I know her from back home…She's one crazy b…" he tried to explain.

"Watch your mouth…" Hermione chastised Ranma.

"I'm just talking about Kuno" Ranma huffed.

"Well that's fine then. Brilliant." Harry replied. Dean stared at the group for a moment, rolled his eyes and got back to listening to a joke Fred and George were telling.

Looking at Umbridge, Ranma pondered her momentarily.

"Hey Harry aint that the chick who tried to send you away for life?" Ranma asked.

"Yeah, she is." Harry answered, staring surly.

"Don't worry! Antagonizing school officials is a specialty of the 'Saotome Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu'!" Ranma encouraged, but Harry still looked doubtful.

"Trust me... She looks like a pink Domokun, she doesn't stand a chance!" Ranma's cocky grin was demanding. Harry couldn't help but grin nervously. Work done, Ranma returned to what was really important…eating.

Ranma settled into the feast. Gradually, the discussion around him came slowly to a stop. Ranma didn't notice at first. He couldn't believe how awesome this feast was. There were mounds of food everywhere. Meats, deserts, vegetables, drinks, everything cooked to absolute perfection. Plus he found if he wanted something, he would find it somewhere in very short order. Which lead to an interesting, but disgustingly bad speculation.

"I wonder if they have _Walrus Sashimi Etoufee_?" Ranma enquired aloud.

And sure enough, with a little searching he found a small helping of the culinary catastrophe. It was a rice dish, with a Creole spiced sauce. Layered on top was delicately arranged and thinly shaved raw walrus meat.

"You're seriously not going to eat that are you?" Ron asked, staring at the dish.

"It reminds me of something the tomboy made once…" Ranma muttered quietly. Reaching out with his chopsticks, he scooped a generous portion of rice sauce and walrus, and brought it to his mouth. Ranma chewed. Starting slowly and tentatively, Ranma began to chew more confidently. Then he stopped. His eyes rolled back and his face turned orange. Suddenly Ranma started to speed chew, trying desperately to get the mouthful swallowed.

"Yep, that was it… I always wondered what the mystery meat was." Ranma exclaimed after finally getting a bite down.

"That didn't look so bad…" Fred started.

"Why don't you give it a try Ron?" George finished.

Ron however wasn't fooled, so Fred and George desperately took the offending plate around the table, trying desperately to find someone who hadn't witnessed Ranma's reaction.

Ranma quickly searched for something to cleanse his deeply offended palate. Trying dish after dish, drink after drink.

"Hey Xian Pu, try some of this meat roll… It's got chicken, duck, and turkey! Hey what is every staring at?" He asked

"Your… your… table managers are monstrous." complained Hermione.

"I've never seen someone eat that fast before…" George started.

"Or that much," and Fred finished. Ranma looked at the twins quizzically for a moment.

Grinning, Ranma dug back into the food, but at a slightly more subdued rate.

At the end of dinner they were all lead to the dormitories. Hermione went to the front and demonstrated the usage of the password to the pictures to enter the dorm. Ranma was flabbergasted. He had thought he saw the pictures moving, but the pictures actually interacted with people. Ranma was about to enter the dorm when he found himself pulled aside with Hermione, and Xian Pu.

A distinguished woman smiled at them gently, briefly. Ranma remember her being introduced at the feast as professor McGonagall.

"Ranma, Xian Pu, I take it you've meet house Gryffindor's star pupil Hermione Granger?" When the teens nodded, she continued.

"Good, Cologne and I go back a long time, and she asked me to find a tutor for the two of you, due to your rather unorthodox transfer. I can think of no one better suited than Hermione. However it will still take considerable work to catch up. You will need to spend two hours studying with her after classes. Hopefully you'll be able to catch up, and keep her out of trouble." Hermione, who had smiled through most of the discourse, frowned deeply at the end.

"Now go get some sleep, it's been a long day children, and classes begin tomorrow, you'll need all the energy you can muster." Ranma frowned at this, but followed Hermione into the dorm.

Inside tons of students were telling jokes and relaxing. Ranma felt something rubbing down around his legs, and reached down. Picking up P-Onna he gave the piglet a gentle squeeze and sat down to pet it. Quickly all the girls in the room began to center their attention on the hunk on the couch, and the adorable potbellied pig his lap.

A few of the boys in the dorm gave Ranma the evil eye, but mostly they returned to the discussions with the other boys in the household, or gawked at Xian Pu.

Time began to slow as people started to settle down and eventually make their way to bed. Soon only Ranma, Xian Pu, Harry, Ron and Hermione remained.

"Come On Xian Pu, let's get some sleep." Hermione said.

"Let me get airen," Xian Pu Agreed. Every eye in the room widened and turned to Xian Pu as she pulled Ranma out of the couch.

Xian Pu got as far as the stairs to the girls rooms, when Hermione, stepped into her way.

"Why clever girl block way?" Xian Pu asked.

"No boys are allowed in the girl's rooms!" Hermione cried, not believing that she had to say this. Xian Pu paused momentarily. Grabbing a near by vase, she pulled the flowers they held out, poured the some water on Ranma, and returned the flowers to the vase.

Now hauling a slightly soggy Ranma-chan up the stairs, she paused to wave good night to new friends who looked as if they never had eyelids in their lives before.

After the two had disappeared into the darkness of the higher stairs, Hermione, turned to Ron and Harry. She opened her mouth to say something, then froze and looked intently at the two boys.

"Oh my… Ron! Harry! Those had better be your wands!"

There was a sudden and cold silence in the room. Suddenly Harry sniggered. Then Ron sniggered.

"I didn't mean that!"

"Oh yes you did!"

"Shut up Harry! I could expect this from Ron, but you… AUGHHH!" As she turned, Harry and Ron broke their composures and started laughing loudly. Hermione, turned around looked at Ron and Harry again for a moment.

"That's better, now you won't stab anything on your way to bed." Hermione then paused and wrinkled her nose in frustration. "Oh Ron what will I ever do with you?" she muttered to herself.

"Eh? Do what?"

"Shut up Ron." And with that Hermione finally went up the stairs and to bed.

*Author's note: Anyone know the proper diminutive in Chinese to use in this situation?


End file.
